My "MOVIES I VOW TO NEVER SEE" List

[Norris For Prez!]

When FREDDY GOT FINGERED was released in spring 2001, I vowed that I would never see it. I loved Tom Green's MTV show, but in his first feature length movie, he looked like he was performing the ultimate practical joke--trying to con paying audiences into seeing a demented stream of consciousness he had just had. I've read lengthy film reviews of it, and I think that the script Ben Affleck & Matt Damon wrote for the PROJECT GREENLIGHT directorial contestants could have yielded something more artistic. Even as a fan of John Waters, I could simply not watch this.

With the release of that film, I decided to make a FILMS I VOW TO NEVER SEE LIST. Whenever a movie comes out that looks to be SO bad that would seem guaranteed to drop my IQ just by watching it, I added it to my list. The list is in order of my desired refusal to not see the film, and, if you note, FREDDY is #4, showing us the quickly de-evolving state of cinema. Sadly, I lost it on my computer somewhere, so I'm going to have to do this from memory...

1. Jackass The Movie (The day this was #1 on the Box Office Chart was a low day in cinematic history.)
2. Dumb & Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
3. The Real Cancun (My faith in cinema was re-affirmed when this bombed at the movies.)
4. Freddy Got Fingered
5. Tomcats
6. Corky Romano
7. Sorority Boys
8. The Hot Chick
9. What Women Want
10. The New Guy
11. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
12. Drumline

I'm sure there are many, many more that I've forgotten, but do you folks have any films that you just WILL NOT see?

[TheJedi2]

1. Jackass The Movie
2. Dumb & Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
3. The Real Cancun
4. Freddy Got Fingered
5. Eight Mile
6. Corky Romano
7. Sorority Boys
8. The Hot Chick
9. What Women Want
10. The New Guy
11. The Scorpion King
12. Resident Evil
13. Tomb Raider
14. Crossroads
15. Glitter
16. Beverly Hills Ninja (Sad thing about this is that one of my best female friends got it for me for a birthday present. I still don't have the heart to tell her this is one of the few Chris Farley bits I'd hope to never see. I still haven't opened the case.)
17. Maid In Manhattan
18. 2 Fast 2 Furious
19. Biker Boys
20. XXX

[El Bombastico]

What Women Want isn't so bad, but the rest of those would definately be on my list.

I will never see many Julia Roberts films, including but not limited to Steel Magnolias, Notting Hill and Runaway Bride.

[Some assclown]

Most movies people keeping saying are so great just because I'm a rebel and I'm sick of most of them before I've seen them and Cowboy Bebop the Movie (didn't like the show not seeing this). Having low standards so totally rocks the body that rocks the party.
EDIT: I'm I the only one that likes Jackass here?

[Leprechaun]

I have a pretty small list.
1. Crossroads
2. Glitter
3. The Real Cancun
4. Save the Last Dance
5. Maid In Manhattan
6. Beverly Hills Ninja

EDIT: I forgot "Maid In Manhattan", the movie about J.Lo being a maid.

[FakeRazor]

- The Hot Chick
- The Animal
- 2 Fast 2 Furious
- Drumline
- 8 Mile
- Glitter
- Boat Trip
- Corky Romano

I really, really want to boycott the new Dumb and Dumber, but I know I'll end up seeing it on video or something.

Freddy Got Fingered is a hilarious movie, but it's not too watchable anymore. Probably because I watched it about 27 times.

I've seen Tomcats, and it's pretty bad. Not funny at all.

As Smacky said, Beverly Hills Ninja was average, but it did have it's moments.

[Norris For Prez!]

Thanks Lox for reminding me to stick THE ANIMAL on there. I also have to remember to put JOE DIRT on there as well. Mullets are just not that funny, dammit. Although I once saw a picture of a girl who had one, which was pretty laugh out loud funny.

Speaking of bad comdies with ex-SNL alumni, I'm sticking OLD SCHOOL 2 on there as well, despite the fact that it hasn't even been made yet. I saw the first one, and, although I give the scene with Will Farrell (sp?) running down the street three thumbs up, the film was like Lox after he gets out of my bed--weak, limping, and flat.

I think 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS looks like my toilet paper after KFC night, but it's not quite bad enough to get on my hallowed list.

[FakeRazor]

I've seen Joe Dirt. Mediocre.

[prodo.]

1. Going Overboard
2. Spice World
3. Drumline
4. The Hot Chick
5. The New Guy
6. The English Patient
7. Topsy Turvy

That's about it. Jackass ruled it, and Freddy Got Fingered sounds like it would be ok.

[Principal Richard Belding]

I was so in protest of Dumb and Dumberer that I vowed never to see it. And then I saw it. Clearly I give in to peer pressure way too easily. But anyway, it wasn't THAT bad in fact it had a few heavy LOL scence including one that involves a cameo by Sir Bob Sagat. If you like that campy dumb fun, you'll have some fun with this movie.

Movies I REALLY won't see.

-Eight Legged Freaks, though I do like Arquette, this film just looks ridiculous.
-Undercover Brother, gimme a friggen break.
-Crocodile Hunter Collision Course, see above.
-The Hot Chick, Shneider was good in Duece Bigelow but lost me after The Animal.
-Lilo and Stich, no matter how many girls tell me how cute it is.
-Head over Heels, Boys and Girls, basically anything involving Freddie Prize Jr. that dosen't include Scooby Doo.
-Sorrority Boys, who greenlighted this?? (maybe)
-Swim Fan, honestly who would be that interested in swimming? SWIMMING!
-Drumline, replace swimming with marching band in above statement

And thats about it. Oh and 8 Mile isn't THAT bad.

[Norris For Prez!]

I saw SWIMFAN, and I am amazed that a major Stewdio could produce a film this bad. I mean, I know they have teen demographics to reach, but I think even the most braindead teenager can see through this crap. Really, 20th Century Fox should have spent their money on THE WEATHER CHANNEL: THE MOVIE instead. It probably would have been more intellectually stimulating and maybe we could have even seen a big tornado.

I saw 8 MILE. It was a great movie, one of the best of last year. Curtis Hanson gave the film a very dark, noirish feel, and Eminem's performance was terrific. He played a role similar to his own life in the movie, so we really feel the pain his character felt as he struggles for an opportunity in life. I know many of you may consider this to be a shoddy excuse to market a hot pop star before their star fades, ala FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY or whatever it's called. But this was a raw, gritty movie about the dream of escaping poverty, one of the best I've seen since BLUE COLLAR.

[Some assclown]

John Wayne movies. Because I don't like westerns and don't think he's as great as he's made out to be.

[El Bombastico]

PT said:

John Wayne movies. Because I don't like westerns and don't think he's as great as he's made out to be.

Your loss.

[Norris For Prez!]

I don't agree with Wayne and his philosophies, particularly his conservatism, but he is a great actor with an undeniable, powerful prescence. Sadly, I've only seen two of his movies--STAGECOACH and THE SEARCHERS--but I would like to see more.

[El Bombastico]

His way of thinking left a lot to be desired at times (his involvement with the blacklists and anti Communism rallies for example) but in many of ways it was really just because he was quite naive and was led to believe that he was helping his country. That doesn't excuse it, but he really did think he was doing his part for America (to try and make up for not fighting during WWII).

Other than the two you said he did a lot of other great films. Red River, Rio Bravo and especially The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance which he did with Jimmy Stewart are all personal favourites of mine. His colaborations with John Ford are legendary. Few actors and directors will ever be bonded so completely in film history.