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Cork
Jun 6, 2003 4:14:47 GMT -5
Post by Disciple of Kat Meyers on Jun 6, 2003 4:14:47 GMT -5
"Hi, I'm Sammy Sosa, all star baseball star for the Chicago Cubs. Have you slumped lately? Just don't know what to do or who to turn to? You're not alone, I've recently been slumping myself until I remembered a little secret to getting back my A-game. No, I'm not talking about steroids, that was yesterday's news. Now I'm talking about the benefits of CORK! That's right, CORK! You see, all you have to do is drill a hole into your bat, hollow a bit out, and stick some CORK in there, and presto! All your troubles will fix themselves! You may be asking yourselves, but Sammy, what if I get caught? Isn't corking your bat illegal? Sure, but so are 'roids, and you don't see me hiding from the needle. If you get caught, just act real sorry and feed everybody some bullshit line about only using the corked bat in practice to put on a show for your loving fans, and since your a nice guy the idiots, i mean people, will forgive you. It's that easy!! Trust me, Sammy Sosa, CORK your bat, you'll be glad you did!" Paid for by the CORK counsil. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids for children under 10.
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Cork
Jun 6, 2003 14:26:51 GMT -5
Post by RepoManRules on Jun 6, 2003 14:26:51 GMT -5
"Hi, I'm Sammy Sosa, all star baseball star for the Chicago Cubs. Have you slumped lately? Just don't know what to do or who to turn to? You're not alone, I've recently been slumping myself until I remembered a little secret to getting back my A-game. No, I'm not talking about steroids, that was yesterday's news. Now I'm talking about the benefits of CORK! That's right, CORK! You see, all you have to do is drill a hole into your bat, hollow a bit out, and stick some CORK in there, and presto! All your troubles will fix themselves! You may be asking yourselves, but Sammy, what if I get caught? Isn't corking your bat illegal? Sure, but so are 'roids, and you don't see me hiding from the needle. If you get caught, just act real sorry and feed everybody some bullshit line about only using the corked bat in practice to put on a show for your loving fans, and since your a nice guy the idiots, i mean people, will forgive you. It's that easy!! Trust me, Sammy Sosa, CORK your bat, you'll be glad you did!" Paid for by the CORK counsil. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids for children under 10.This is crazier then most of my posts.
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Cork
Jun 7, 2003 23:55:04 GMT -5
Post by TheJedi2 on Jun 7, 2003 23:55:04 GMT -5
Ok, I'm going to go through this very simply, because if I don't AM will eat you up.
1) This is not funny and isn't fully factually true.
2) They checked all of Sosa's other current bats and they were all cork-less.
3) The amount of bats broken these days are so high that if he was doing it before it would've been found.
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Cork
Jun 10, 2003 13:39:07 GMT -5
Post by Principal Richard Belding on Jun 10, 2003 13:39:07 GMT -5
"Hi, I'm Sammy Sosa, all star baseball star for the Chicago Cubs. Have you slumped lately? Just don't know what to do or who to turn to? You're not alone, I've recently been slumping myself until I remembered a little secret to getting back my A-game. No, I'm not talking about steroids, that was yesterday's news. Now I'm talking about the benefits of CORK! That's right, CORK! You see, all you have to do is drill a hole into your bat, hollow a bit out, and stick some CORK in there, and presto! All your troubles will fix themselves! You may be asking yourselves, but Sammy, what if I get caught? Isn't corking your bat illegal? Sure, but so are 'roids, and you don't see me hiding from the needle. If you get caught, just act real sorry and feed everybody some bullshit line about only using the corked bat in practice to put on a show for your loving fans, and since your a nice guy the idiots, i mean people, will forgive you. It's that easy!! Trust me, Sammy Sosa, CORK your bat, you'll be glad you did!" Paid for by the CORK counsil. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids for children under 10.LOL!
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